BODY VARIATIONS AND OUR SEXUALITY. DEAFNESS. LOSS OF LIMB

Deafness

Deaf people are those whose hearing is impaired, as well as those who cannot hear. People who are deaf from an early age do not learn to speak as hearing people do. They “listen” by watching a language of hand signals called sign language. Some deaf and hearing-impaired people may become very good at lip-reading—but this is less usual. Some may learn to use their vocal cords to produce words and speak as hearing persons do.

It is difficult for deaf people to learn to read because so much of our vocabulary is learned by hearing. The vocabulary of the deaf may be more limited than that of the hearing. Lack of vocabulary makes learning parts of the body more difficult. It may take special efforts to overcome the problems of communication and meaning when the deaf are learning about their sexuality.

These communication problems can also create great challenges as deaf people learn to socialize. Hearing people are usually illiterate in sign language. They may also be embarrassed and not know any other way to “talk.” This can make it difficult and frustrating to establish a relationship. The lack of social interaction that deaf children experience may affect their sexual development. Deaf people may mature more slowly socially. They may have their first sexual encounters at later ages.

Loss of Limb

People may be born without one or more of their limbs—hands, feet, arms, or legs. They may also lose limbs through accident or disease. These people are challenged by activities such as putting on clothes, opening doors, walking, using computers, and playing sports. They may become very good at functioning in society by using special devices—wheelchairs or prosthetic arms, legs, hands, and feet—to get around. For some, the function of the missing limb is replaced by another part of the body—typing with the feet or writing with the other hand, for example.

People who have lost a limb face the challenge of poor body image. Sexuality is deeply affected for anyone who has a poor body image—whether or not she or he has lost a limb. People feel unattractive. They may feel sexually inadequate. They may feel that they are unable to give or share sexual pleasure with a partner. They may have performance anxiety. They may also feel that their coordination and sexual performance will be affected by not having all their limbs. Certain sexual positions or arrangements may be easier, more comfortable, and pleasing for someone who has lost a limb. An attentive partner will understand and help meet these needs. Both partners can help one another by listening and communicating their needs and wants.

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