It’s best to tell the person yourself rather than having a friend do it or having the person hear it through the grapevine. If the person hears it from someone else, he or she is going to feel even worse. The person may feel like you’ve made a fool of him or her, or that you didn’t even care enough to bother being honest. The person may feel even more hurt or angrier if he or she has to hear the bad news from someone else.

It’s usually very difficult for us to be honest and to tell someone that our feelings have changed. Even though it’s perfectly normal and natural for a person’s feelings to change, we may none the less, feel guilty about it. We may feel that we’re some terrible, disloyal, bad sort of person. Sometimes we may feel so guilty, so disloyal and so afraid of the other person’s angry, hurt feelings that we may pick a fight so we’ll have an ‘excuse’ for splitting up. Rather than honestly admitting the real reason we want to end the relationship, we may try to shift the ‘blame’ to the other person. We may try to pretend that it’s the other person’s fault, that it’s something he or she has done or that it’s something about him or her as a person that’s causing the split. But, if you think about it, is it really right or really fair to shift the ‘blame’?

Our advice is be honest, but be kind. You might say something like ‘I really want to be your friend, but I don’t want to be tied down to just one person’ or ‘You’re really terrific and I really care about you, but I just feel I’m too young to settle down and date only one person.’

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Posted by admin on March 27th, 2009 :: Filed under Men's Health-Erectile Dysfunction

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Many, if not most, boys and girls engage in some form of sex play during childhood. Psychologists and sex experts agree that this is a perfectly normal and natural part of growing up and learning about sex. It doesn’t mean that there’s anything ‘wrong’ or ‘nasty’ about you if you’ve done these things.

However, bullying someone else or being bullied into doing something sexual by another child can be harmful. If you are bullied into doing something sexual by another child – or, for that matter, by anyone – it’s important that you talk this problem over with your parent or another grown-up you trust.

If it’s natural and normal, why do parents make you stop if they catch you playing doctor?

When parents discover their children playing doctor or other sex games, they usually make the children stop. Some parents even become angry or upset with their children if they find them playing sex games.

There may be any number of reasons why parents make children stop and/or get upset. For instance, some parents have religious values that lead them to feel that sex play in children is morally wrong or sinful. Some parents were caught doing the same thing when they were children and their parents stopped them or became angry with them. So they react in the same way their parents did. Moreover, some parents don’t realize that sex play is natural and normal, so they become upset by what they think is unnatural or abnormal behaviour.

Even parents who don’t have religious objections and who realize sex play is a natural part of growing up usually put a stop to it when they find children engaging in sex play. Part of the job of being a parent is to teach your children what kind of behaviour is considered proper, polite and socially acceptable. For instance, if someone didn’t tell them not to, many little children wouldn’t think twice about taking off their clothes and walking down the street naked. In our society it’s not considered proper or socially acceptable for people to go out in public nude, so parents usually teach their children to keep their clothes on. The same is true of sex play. In our society it is not considered proper or socially acceptable for children to take off their clothes and look at other people’s sex organs or to play doctor. So even though they don’t necessarily think playing sex games is sinful or nasty, parents usually stop this kind of thing because it isn’t considered socially acceptable or proper behaviour.

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Posted by admin on March 27th, 2009 :: Filed under Men's Health-Erectile Dysfunction

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Anyone, of any age, who thinks he or she may have an STD should go straight to a special clinic for free advice, testing and treatment. It is not necessary to be referred by your GP. The names and addresses of special clinics can be found on posters and notices displayed in doctors’ surgeries, health centres, post offices, and Citizens’ Advice Bureaux. The special clinics are sometimes called the Departments of Genito-urinary Medicine, STD clinics or Special Treatment Centres. You can also call a Brook Advisory Centre for advice on how to get treatment.

Testing and treatment is entirely confidential. You don’t need your parents’ permission. The people at the clinic will not inform your parents (or anyone else for that matter) that you have been tested and/or treated for an STD. The people who work at the special clinics are used to dealing with young people who have STDs. You needn’t feel embarrassed or ashamed to go to a clinic.

Even if you don’t have symptoms, but think you may have had contact with an infected person, it’s important that you be tested. Even if your symptoms have disappeared, the germs may still be in your body causing damage, and you can still pass the infection to others. So it’s important to be tested even if your symptoms have subsided.

You should go to a clinic immediately so you can be tested and treated as soon as possible. If you do have an STD, it’s important that you notify all your recent sexual partners so they, too, can be tested and treated.

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Posted by admin on March 27th, 2009 :: Filed under Men's Health-Erectile Dysfunction

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If pregnancy occurs, there are three choices: continuing the pregnancy and keeping the baby; continuing the pregnancy but giving up the child for adoption; and abortion. If you are not certain which is the best choice for you, your GP or the doctor at the place where you got your pregnancy test can refer you to a counsellor who will help you decide. Regardless of what decision you make, you have the right to sympathetic counselling and to complete information about each of the choices available. Even if you feel certain about your decision, you may find it helpful to discuss your decision with a counsellor.

Is it legal for a teenager to have an abortion?

Yes, but young women under the age of 16 need the permission of a parent or guardian in order to obtain an abortion. In addition, women of all ages must have two doctors agree that the woman or any children she already has will suffer physical or emotional harm if she continues the pregnancy or that the baby is likely to be born handicapped or that continuing the pregnancy would endanger the woman’s life.

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Posted by admin on March 27th, 2009 :: Filed under Men's Health-Erectile Dysfunction

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Sterilization involves a surgical operation, which is called vasectomy in men. Vasectomy is a minor operation that can be done in a doctor’s surgery under a local anaesthetic, but is also often carried out in a clinic or hospital under a general anaesthetic. The vas deferens are cut, sealed or otherwise blocked so that sperm can no longer travel from the testicles to the penis. Female sterilization is a more involved operation, done under a general anaesthetic, and usually requires at least a short stay in hospital. The Fallopian tubes are cut, sealed or otherwise blocked so that ova can no longer travel through them and therefore can’t be fertilized by sperm.

Sterilization is a permanent method, so it is only for people who are sure they won’t want children in the future. After the operation, a man still ejaculates, but there are no sperm in his semen. After sterilization men still produce sperm in their testicles and women still produce ripe ova, but the sperm and ova are reabsorbed by the body. Only one member of a couple-either the man or woman (not both) – need have the operation in order to protect against pregnancy.

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Posted by admin on March 27th, 2009 :: Filed under Men's Health-Erectile Dysfunction

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Mental retardation is a condition of lower-than-average intelligence. Mental retardation has many causes and results in many different IQs. It happens when the development of the brain is slowed or stopped. The cause is often genetic. Trauma, lack of oxygen during birth, or infection during pregnancy are other causes. The retardation can be so severe that people are unable to care for themselves. In other situations, retardation may be so mild that people may be able to learn skills, hold jobs, and live independently.

Regardless of how severe their mental challenge may be, all people are born with the ability to feel sexual pleasure. They also have body images that affect their everyday lives as well as their sexuality.

Positive body images can be reinforced by parents, teachers, and caregivers who make the effort to educate these women and men about their sexuality.

Family and health care workers who deal with the mentally retarded may be afraid of or embarrassed by the sexuality of the mentally challenged. They may fear that challenged people will masturbate in public. They may fear that they will engage in sexual intercourse without using contraception.

Developmentally disabled women, men, and children need to know that sex play in public is not socially acceptable. They also need to know about safer sex and birth control. Many will be able to effectively use a reversible method such as the condom, vaginal pouch, or the Pill. Some, however, may not be able to protect themselves from unplanned pregnancy.

It may be appropriate to provide some high-risk individuals with long-term reversible contraceptives such as Norplant® and Depo-Provera® or permanent methods such as vasectomy and tubal sterilization. Whenever contraceptive choices need to be made for the developmentally disabled, they must always be made in the best interests of the disabled person.

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Posted by admin on March 20th, 2009 :: Filed under Men's Health-Erectile Dysfunction

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The spinal cord is the long bundle of nerves in the middle of our backbones where all of the nerves in our bodies meet before connecting to the brain. The spinal cord stretches from the base of the neck to the tailbone just above the anus. When we are touched, the nerves in our skin stimulate nerves in the spinal cord. The spinal cord stimulates receptors in the brain. The brain translates the stimulation as pleasure, pain, or discomfort. The head is the only part of the body that does not depend on the spinal cord for responses to sensation. Sensations experienced by the head—sight, smell, taste, hearing, and touch of the face—are experienced directly by the brain.

Different injuries of the spinal cord will affect how different parts of our bodies experience touch, pressure, and movement. An injury of the spinal cord damages the nerves that let us know we are being touched. A serious injury to the spinal cord often results in paralysis— a part or parts of the body become unable to feel sensation and cannot be moved.

The location of the injury determines which nerves are damaged and where paralysis will occur. If the injury occurs at the base of the neck, most of the nerves will be damaged, and most of the body will be paralyzed. If the injury occurs lower on the spinal cord, the nerves that are damaged may be only those for the genitals and legs, and paralysis will occur from the waist down to the toes. People with spinal cord injuries may have areas of skin that are still sensitive to touch, even if the areas are limited to the face.

Often, areas of the skin that were not very sensitive before an injury become erogenous zones after an injury. For example, breasts, neck, shoulders, or the face and lips may become more sensitive to sexual stimulation. Imagination may also become a more developed tool for sexual fulfillment.

Spinal cord injury in women often means that the genitals lose the ability to feel sexual pleasure. Women may experience diminished lubrication. Unless lubricants are used, vaginal tissue may be torn and infection may occur. Orgasms are also affected. Sexual positions are also limited for women with spinal cord injuries. Fertility, however, usually preserved.

Many men with spinal cord injuries are still able to have erections. However, many may not be able to feel their erections. Or their erections may not last for very long. Furthermore, the sexual positions that partners are able to take may be limited without the use of le or arms. Ejaculation is possible for some men, but not for others. Orgasm may take more of an emotional form than a physical or Fertility may also be affected.

For men, injections and special devices are available to help keep an erection for a longer period of time. Men who lose sensitivity in the genital area learn to find sexual pleasure from the touch of another erogenous zone.

Current research is looking at why some people with spinal cord injuries are still able to have orgasms. Our understanding of spinal cord injuries and sexuality is growing. New information about the anatomy of the spinal cord and our sexual nervous systems may provide more insight into the sex lives of people with spinal cord injuries as well as their partners. It is important for women and men with spinal cord injuries to know that they may be able to experience a great deal of pleasure during sexual activity.

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Posted by admin on March 20th, 2009 :: Filed under Men's Health-Erectile Dysfunction

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Deafness

Deaf people are those whose hearing is impaired, as well as those who cannot hear. People who are deaf from an early age do not learn to speak as hearing people do. They “listen” by watching a language of hand signals called sign language. Some deaf and hearing-impaired people may become very good at lip-reading—but this is less usual. Some may learn to use their vocal cords to produce words and speak as hearing persons do.

It is difficult for deaf people to learn to read because so much of our vocabulary is learned by hearing. The vocabulary of the deaf may be more limited than that of the hearing. Lack of vocabulary makes learning parts of the body more difficult. It may take special efforts to overcome the problems of communication and meaning when the deaf are learning about their sexuality.

These communication problems can also create great challenges as deaf people learn to socialize. Hearing people are usually illiterate in sign language. They may also be embarrassed and not know any other way to “talk.” This can make it difficult and frustrating to establish a relationship. The lack of social interaction that deaf children experience may affect their sexual development. Deaf people may mature more slowly socially. They may have their first sexual encounters at later ages.

Loss of Limb

People may be born without one or more of their limbs—hands, feet, arms, or legs. They may also lose limbs through accident or disease. These people are challenged by activities such as putting on clothes, opening doors, walking, using computers, and playing sports. They may become very good at functioning in society by using special devices—wheelchairs or prosthetic arms, legs, hands, and feet—to get around. For some, the function of the missing limb is replaced by another part of the body—typing with the feet or writing with the other hand, for example.

People who have lost a limb face the challenge of poor body image. Sexuality is deeply affected for anyone who has a poor body image—whether or not she or he has lost a limb. People feel unattractive. They may feel sexually inadequate. They may feel that they are unable to give or share sexual pleasure with a partner. They may have performance anxiety. They may also feel that their coordination and sexual performance will be affected by not having all their limbs. Certain sexual positions or arrangements may be easier, more comfortable, and pleasing for someone who has lost a limb. An attentive partner will understand and help meet these needs. Both partners can help one another by listening and communicating their needs and wants.

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Posted by admin on March 20th, 2009 :: Filed under Men's Health-Erectile Dysfunction

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Humans use sight more than any other sense. People who are blind cannot see with their eyes. Instead, they develop their other senses: touch, hearing, smell, and sound. These other senses help them “see.” Blind people can read a language by moving their fingers over a code of bumps—this language is called braille. They write, move around in society, play sports, hold jobs, create art, or make music. They have sexual relationships. They are parents and grandparents.

People who are blind from birth are likely to begin puberty at an earlier age than sighted people. Women and men who have early menarche and spermarche are also likely to begin having sexual intercourse at an early age. Blind women may also experience more irregular menstrual cycles than sighted women.

Books about sexuality that are designed for sighted people may not be as useful for blind people. Instead, discussions, models that can be touched, and books in braille can help provide sexuality education for the blind. Being an open and approachable parent will help provide sexuality education for a blind child. Growing up and discovering sexuality as a blind person means discovering what is arousing without sight. It may be a voice, a personality, a certain odor, or a certain touch. Blind people develop sexual preferences just like everyone else.

People who become blind as adults may have already gained a sexuality education. However, adjusting to their loss of sight may be challenged by depression, lower self-esteem, and confusion about their sexuality. It is important for friends and family members who become blind to recognize that they are still sexually attractive and capable of enjoying and having sex. In fact, they may even be able to heighten their sexual sensations. Nevertheless, the transition period can be hard for adults and their sex partners. Patience, effort, and education can help both partners through this time.

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Posted by admin on March 20th, 2009 :: Filed under Men's Health-Erectile Dysfunction

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Most of us know someone—a friend, a family member, or a classmate—who has a disability. We may be disabled ourselves. People with disabilities are challenged in their everyday lives by activities that may be easy for others. For example, crossing a street, reading a book, or even having a conversation may require extra skills and courage. Disabled people may be physically or mentally challenged. They have emotions, needs, and wants just like people who are not disabled. They are also sexual. They have sexual desires, attractions, imaginations, and sexual response cycles. Sexuality is a major part of their lives, too. Because of their physical or mental challenges, developing their sexuality may require different methods of learning and experiencing.

It is very important to remember that a child who is physically or mentally challenged has the right to be educated about sexuality. It may be awkward for many parents to talk about sexuality to a child who is disabled. The first step in overcoming the fear of talking and educating is to recognize and accept that all people have a sexual birthright.

We must also recognize and deal with the many challenges that people with disabilities may meet while trying to exercise their sexual birthrights. Disabled people may deny their own sexual feelings. They may also fear the sexual advances of others. Some of their fears stem from real feelings of vulnerability. Their other fears reflect the misguided social belief that disabled people are not supposed to be sexual.

Among the many challenges faced by people with disabilities is the development of positive body images and positive attitudes toward sex and sexuality. Family and friends of physically and mentally challenged children and adults need to be especially caring and attentive to these needs.

Just as it is normal for disabled people to become sexually attracted to other people, it is also normal for anyone to be sexually attracted to them. We may fear becoming clumsy if we decide to explore these sexual attractions. We may be embarrassed that we won’t know how to deal with disability in a sexual way. We need only remember that relationships and sexual fulfillment do not rely on only one kind of sex play. Sexual relationships and fulfillment come from sharing intimacy and a wide range of physical sensations.

All people are capable of being intimate and of receiving, giving, and sharing sexual pleasure, whether or not they are disabled. Sexuality can be a great challenge for people with disabilities, their abled or disabled sex partners, and their caregivers. If we acknowledge and address their sexual needs, however, disabled women and men can discover, establish, and maintain the fulfilling sexual relationships to which they are entitled.

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Posted by admin on March 20th, 2009 :: Filed under Men's Health-Erectile Dysfunction

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